Konoha Gakuen: Baka Teme!
by Kinoo Kyuu
Summary: SasuNaru. AU. Sasuke is currently working as a teacher at the most popular school in the country. He is in need of something new to cure his boredom. What happens when he is met with our loveliest blonde?
1. これ殻始まる！

**Konoha Gakuen: ****Baka Teme!** _by Kinoo Kyuu_

Pairings: Sasuke x Naruto, Seme x Uke. Onesided Most Characters x Naruto. Many others to come.

Warnings: R for future lemon. Sakura-bashing, filled with yaoi goodness. If you think you're on the wrong side of this fan fiction, then I suggest you hit the back button before it's too late. No, really, I'm being serious.

Disclaimer: MINE! I'll NEVER surrender! -chased by Kishimoto and Sasuke-

_Hello, hello. Kinoo speaking here..._

_I am very excited to present my first ever written SasuNaru FanFic. I hope that it's not going to be bad as it is my first try. And yes, it's going to be a small series._

_So uhmm, please sit back and enjoy!_

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Chapter 1:「 これ殻始まる！」- From now on, this is the beginning!

* * *

"... UCHIHA SASUKE!"

Indeed, what a beautiful way to start a morning.

Yep, that's sarcasm, in case your pitiful brain doesn't understand.

Apparently, my honourable self is called back to the office.

Whatever. Let's skip the naming introduction because as you know, my name has been '_sweetly'_ shouted by the god-damn-mother-fucker-shitty-big-boobs principal; Tsunade, the old hag.

Hn, she hates being called old but who cares?

It fits her.

And...

She IS old.

Okay, so she may look naturally younger than the age she's supposed to be in but, well, I like mocking her because that's how I get my source of entertainment.

And yet it is also an easy way to see heaven. Or maybe, in my case, hell.

Anyways, we both just CAN'T get along. If a question about why we dislike each other is asked, there shall be no answer, just keep it in mind that I like to stay the way it is now.

Forget about her, we'll see her soon anyway.

Okay, so I am currently the most gorgeous teacher in this _Konoha Gakuen,_ best school in the country, and 19 years old.

I am a genius, and I am also the youngest teacher in the school. For now, at least.

I am the main math teacher, but I also teach one block of P.E. and one block of Science. **(1.)**

People find my dark orbs, my jet black hair, my pale skin, my macho body, and my other perfect features** attractive**.

Of course, no duh, I'm an Uchiha and, I know, I'm awesome.

Just so you know.

I drag my lazy feet across the hall, ignoring the drool of some fan girls and fan boys that looks at me in such a way that I rather not talk about.

There I am, towards the awaiting, balls-breaking future I am about to experience and shudders, hoping to keep all my body parts together when it's finally over. **(2.)**

I take a deep breath, turn the knob, and open the door, revealing a frustrated, brown-eyed, blonde woman on a big chair holding a glass filled with sake on her left hand.

"What is it, principal?" I say, as I try to ignore the fact that she is trying to eat me alive with that glare of hers. A glare that _almost_ wins over mine; the Uchiha Glare.

The glare works on everybody else but Tsunade.

"Where is your report?" She firmly replies, as she smiles grimly. She cocks her head toward me and I swear I could see a glimpse of fire in her eyes.

"What report?"

"The one you're supposed to hand in to me yesterday morning."

"Oh, that one. I've sent it to you yesterday, via e-mail..."

The fuck is her problem?

"... Shit." She murmurs. She calls me to her office for a completely different reason. I have some guesses, and is about to reply, but decides to keep my mouth shut.

She sips her sake, and turns her chair around, facing away from me.

"Is there anything important you'd like to discuss with me or not? Because I have a pile of math tests I have yet to mark and my students are 'annoying' me to get it done," I say, breaking the spur moment of silence.

She turns her chair around and stares at me sheepishly.

"What did you say to Haruno, Uchiha?" In case you're stupid, this 'Haruno' person is my 'fellow' teacher. **(3.)**

"… Nothing."

"Uchiha, I'm warning you. That was an order for you to answer _truthfully_," she clenches her teeth. Have I told you that she is completely and utterly insane? No, I guess not.

She needs to get her blood-pressure checked, cause MAN; she's got it quite high.

I'm still not answering.

"Uchiha, I'm waiting. Trust me, whe-"

"I told her to get her big, ugly forehead out of my classroom." I answer quickly, not wanting to get anything thrown towards my direction.

"Uchiha, don't be ridiculous! You yourself know that she is not exactly the most pleasant person to be around, but at the very least, be nicer to her!" She fumes. "She is one of the best chemistry teachers I've got so far in this country and I intent to keep it that way."

"Sure. I'll keep that in mind as long as she promises not to bring her stupid, idiotic, pink head into my life again," I mumble, whispering the second part to myself.

"You better," she says. "Anyways, I didn't make you come here to do my anger-releasing ritual. I have a very important task for you to do. You dare mess up, I'll castrate you." **(4.)**

I shiver, remind me to make a mental note to myself that I have to keep my manhood safe and out of her mind...

"... Okay. What is it?" I ask, still shivering slightly from the threat and yet also, trying hard not to show any curiosity. Uchiha's don't do curiosity.

"Well, my darling little nephew, Naru-chan, has just finished his school and is aiming to be one of the teachers here. He is going to be a student teacher and I have put him in your class." She sighs.

Why, out of all teacher, ME? Can't she put him in Orochimaru's or something?

"Believe me, I wanted to put him in somebody else's class but I have to put him in yours because math is his major. And no, I am _not_ putting him in Orochimaru's, so don't even think about it," she replies as if she read my mind.

"... Okay. Can I go now?"

"Yes. Yes you may," she sighs again. I turn around and open the door when I hear her say something in a low tone and dangerously, "Oh! And you _better _not rape my Naru-chan."

I close the door and sprint to my classroom. And with that, she has left me questioning.

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

* * *

1.) The schedule is based on my school system. Day 1-Day 2 kind of thing. 4 blocks each.

2.) Balls-breaking... LMFAO. That's my creation.

3.) Sakura-bashing it is. There are lots to come and sorry for the people who likes her. I'm actually quite okay with Sakura, but looking at her still reminds me of those days where she keeps hitting my Naru-chan. And anyways, I need to have somebody to torture...

4.) I really like Tsunade! She is so overprotective towards our little Naru-chan! Possible Sasuke-bashing? LOL.

* * *

Hahaha, so what do you think? I'd like to hear your comments or even constructive criticism. I'll definitely try to improve and fulfill the needs of my readers! I promise to take it to heart! :)

Please, do review! It makes me update faster and try even harder to make the next one an even better chapter than before.

Goodbye for now & thank you for reading this chapter!


	2. 僕たちのかわいい美少年！

**Konoha Gakuen: Baka Teme!**_ by Kinoo Kyuu_

Pairings: Sasuke x Naruto. One sided; Kiba/Gaara/Shino/Shikamaru/Neji/Hinata/Itachi x Naruto, and of course, one that will clash against our main, Sai x Naruto.

Warnings: R for future lemon. Sakura-bashing, filled with yaoi goodness, and attempts for humour. Yes, I'm still being serious. -sighs-

Disclaimer: A little tweak, here and there. YES! I'm FREE! Now I can go own Naru- oomph! -gets hit, gagged, and blindfolded-

_Kinoo: _Hello! Pleasure meeting you all once again! Today, our lovely Ino will join us! I need someone to join my side anyways. She's also a closet pervert, by the way!

_Ino:_ Hehe -reveals secret stash of SasuNaru pictures-

_Kinoo:_ Damn, how did you get all these? -eyes gleaming with happiness-

_Ino:_ I have my ways… -snickers-

_Kinoo:_ Whoa… Can I have this? Heck, I'll even buy it!

_Ino:_ Nahh, you can have it! I have 100 copies of those!

_Kinoo:_ YES! I LOVE YOU! Oh, sorry peeps! On with the story!

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Chapter 2: 「僕たちのかわいい美少年！」- Our cute little hottie!

* * *

Okay, so after that talk I have with the hag I can't help but be super curious about this _Naru-chan_.

Seriously, she knows I'm asexual. Why talk about rape?

ARGH! I DON'T WANNA KNOW!

Whatever. I went back to the classroom, currently teaching Grade 10 math, by the way, and make them all do page 29 # 1-6, and they must show their work. **(1.)**

A couple of flirty looks I get from the girls, a nudge from… Ukes? And a growl from… Eww… Haruno?

"What do you think you're doing, Haruno," I coldly say to her.

"Well, seeing as we had a bad day yesterday," she starts. "I figured that we ought to make up."

She walks toward me, swaying her underdeveloped, so-called hips while doing so, and sits on my desk, thinking that it's sexy.

Who the fuck is she fooling? She's as ugly as a dog crap combined with a horse piss.

"What a shitty-looking teacher," a girl I recognise as TenTen whispers.

"Eww… Her forehead! So big!" Ino shrieks disgustedly. That girl owns a yaoi fan club or something… Nevertheless, I agree with her 100 percent.

Soon, mockeries and hate comments filled the classroom.

Nope, I didn't do anything to stop it.

"Go away. You're disrupting the class," I reply, this time, with an Uchiha glare.

"O-okay. I'll see you Sasuke-kun," she cowers, and runs back to her classroom.

Everyone in the class lets out a chuckle and starts to gossip about her. They hate that stupid bitch.

"All of you back to your work! There's nothing to discuss here."

Not yet, we don't.

* * *

After that, basically I go home and do my usual routine you should all know about. You know, eating, brushing your teeth, changing, and all that.

Wait, you don't know? Well, too bad, I ain't describing it.

The next morning I wake up, feeling content for I am going to release my curiosity out.

The hag never says anything about when Naru-chan's coming. **(2.)** But heck, I know that Tsunade is known for her tendency to alert others about important things on the very last minute.

So I get in my Audi R8, and drive to the school. My usual fan crowd are waiting at the gate, chanting and winking as they follow the car I'm driving.

I get out with a determination like others to make it through today without getting my shirts ripped, and my pants intact.

I shall not utter a word about why and how because you all can guess.

The bell rings and all the students rush to their homeroom, after taking a peek of me, of course.

I settle down on my chair, shifting back and forth while impatiently waiting for the student teacher.

Damn! Guess he's not coming today then.

I am just about to start the lesson when I hear noisy movements, and the classroom door opens; revealing a sexy, angelic body covered with a shirt that's buttoned a little bit more than halfway to the very bottom, and tight, black pants that shows of his feminine curves.

He owns a tan skin, 3 identical lines on each side of his face, blonde hair and enticing cerulean, blue eyes.

The said guy walks over to me and a smile forms on those pink, plump lips, and offers out a small hand, which are very smooth and soft by the way, that I take gratefully.

"Hello, sorry for being late! My name is Uzumaki Naruto," he says.

Ladies and gentleman, I am hereby to announce that I have officially fallen for this beautiful, sex-on-legs creature in front of me.

"… Uchiha Sasuke," I say. Shit. This Naruto is so cute I could rape him in front of everybody.

Letting go of my hand, he turns around and smiles at the students. The girls stare with their eyes gleaming and squeals, wanting to see more of Naruto. The guys are drooling, checking him out from top to bottom.

I scowl quietly, hoping that he wouldn't take notice of me doing so.

Meanwhile, he tugs at my shirt gently, "Aren't you going to introduce me, Uchiha-Sensei?"

"Oh, yeah. Everyone, this is Naru-ch- I mean, Uzumaki Naruto. He is going to be your student teacher for the year," I say. The girls wouldn't stop giggling and the guys wouldn't stop checking him out.

I am pissed beyond the world, but I would never admit it.

"Hello everyone! I am Uzumaki Naruto. You can all just call me Naruto-san! I hope you'll all be so kindly welcome and accept me into this school community," he kindly starts. "Do you have any questions?"

"How old are you?"

"What's your hobby?"

"Are you single?"

"What's your type?"

"Do you sleep naked?"

He pouts at the last question and asks, "Do I have to answer all of them?"

"Yes," I smirk, wanting to know more information about the adorable blonde.

"Okay… Uhmm… I am 17 years old. I like going out and hanging with friends. I am currently single. My… _type_ is one who loves me for who I am," he says. "And… Yes… I sleep naked."

"Whoo… I'd like to get in with you sometime," says the dog-boy whose name is Kiba or something, whistling at him.

"Come to me, hot stuff! We'll have sexy time together," says Gaara, the emo kid who usually never says anything. Isn't he unusually talkative today? I wonder why...

The snobby kid known as Neji doesn't say anything, but gives out a wink and a seductive grin towards **my **little, soon-to-be lover.

"Okay! Question time is over!" I grumpily say. If I hear any more students flirting towards him, I would have gone crazy and will do more than terrorize them. "Hand in yesterday's homework and open your textbook to page 33; Read and do the questions # 1-15, show your work."

"Are they always this… affectionate?" He lets out a sigh of relief.

"Hn. I guess. Only to the people they like," I reply, trying to look away, but can't. Naruto's gaze is locked in mine, and he tilts his head sideways.

God damn it! He's so cute it hurts.

"So… You're 17 years old? Aren't you supposed to be in Grade 12 then?" I ask awkwardly, he grins appreciatively and nods.

"Yeah, but I finished early! That's why I'm here now," he says. "So, can I have the outline for this class? I need it to know how far your students are in their studies."

Before I can reply or give him anything in regards to his question, a hand shots up in the air.

"Naruto-san! I don't get this question!" Gaara puts up his hand with a grin on his face. That brat is up to something!

"Okay, I'm coming! Which question…?" Naruto comes over to his desk and peers over, and pauses to get his name.

"The name is Gaara. And to get a better look, you'll have to sit here first," Gaara's grin widens and he gives out a hand motion to sit on his lap.

"But I can see it perfectly fro-," Naruto retorts. Too late, strong hands grab his slender hips and pull him towards Gaara's embrace and place him on the very awaiting lap. "Okay! Fine! You don't have to do that! Anyways, Which question is it that you don't get?"

Everybody in the class are distracted, they watch Gaara jealously, sad that they are not able to have the blonde on _their_ laps.

Gaara's face rest on Naruto's shoulder, he smirks, and points toward # 15.

"Oh, that one! All you have to do is to put the equation in a y equals mx plus b form," Naruto says, as he goes on and explains the formula. **(3.)**

That red-head always get a perfect mark on every single quiz. He _doesn't need_ Naruto's help!

Calm down, Uchiha Sasuke. You will **not** kill anybody today. No, not even that red-head whose smugly face is filled with joy and happiness.

The blonde slowly gets up and smiles at Gaara. "There, now do you understand? It's really easy once you get the hang of it!"

"Yes, Naruto-san. Thank you for explaining," he smiles the oh-so-innocent smile.

Naruto, of course, are too naïve to know and pats Gaara's head while he walks toward me, wanting to discuss more about the curriculum of this class.

It's not too long until Ino and Kiba raise their hand up, calling out for Naruto.

Ino, being the Ino we know, glares heatedly at Kiba, making him murmur something about being second after Ino is finished with her question.

While making his way towards her, many students try their luck to touch his butt, or try to pull him into their embrace, making him pout even cuter and adding more perverted thoughts toward his molesters.

"What can I help you with…?" He also pauses to get her name, after finally reaching her desk.

"Ino, the name is Ino! Anyways, I don't get question # 6!" She smiles brightly. "And I also want you to sit on my lap!"

"B-but Ino-san… That would be even _more_ embarrassing! I'm a guy…" Again, the same action is performed and Naruto ends up in Ino's lap. He blushes, not knowing what to do.

She squeals and hugs him tightly, ignoring the weird looks mixed with envy that is sent towards her.

I forgot to tell you that the blonde is only 5'4 while the rest of the class is 5'5 and above. Ino, in this case, is 5'6½, and is taller than the poor Naru-chan. I am 6'4, by the way. **(4.)**

"My turn!" Kiba yells out happily. Naruto, who now follows the pattern of this 'helping' session, looks defeated and sits on Kiba's lap without retorting and asks him what he needs help with.

I am not going to kill any of my students. **Must. Not. Kill!** No because I'm an awesome man who knows that his future lover will **NOT** be sexed up by his stud- wait, is that _grinding_ I see!?

"Kiba, would you please not move so much? It's really uncomfortable," Naruto pouts. He leans up and Kiba '_accidentally_' brushes his face towards Naruto's ass cheeks. **(5.)**

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. **Fuck! **That tight ass must have felt so good! God, I'd give every penny in my bank account. That should have been **me**, not _him_!

"Oops," Kiba says, and flashes his winning smile for everybody to see.

Naruto is still pouting. He turns around and faces Kiba. "Please be careful next time."

"Yes, Naruto-san," that Kiba brat is dead! Fuck that smirk on his face!

Because of the previous performance, the class is now filled with more people raising their hands up, trying to get Naruto on their lap.

Unable to contain my anger I rise up from my seat, "Okay, that's enough playing around! No more 'sitting on the lap' or you're going to the hall!"

"Will Naruto-san be there with me? 'Cause if so, I'd gladly do it," Kiba grins.

Oh, hell no, no one gets away after saying that!

"Hn. Really? How about detention? Sounds good to you, eh? Gai would be _very_ pleased with that, wouldn't he? He'll give you _lots and lots_ of activity to keep you busy with," I smirk. **(6.)**

The class quiets down almost instantly…

* * *

1.) LOL! I'm a grade 10! :3!

2.) HAHAHAHAHA! Sasuke's calling Naruto, Naru-chan! I guess it's affecting him quite well…

3.) We're learning about Coordinate Geometry of Line Segments right now! I'm in honours! LOL. I'm such a G-E-E-K!

4.) Nice height difference, eh? Pretty slinky...

5.) LMFAO. Don't you just love being a pervert!?

6.) OMG. I love Gai, his green jumpsuit, and his orange leg-warmers! But his enthusiasm and rants about youth scares a lot of people… -sighs-

* * *

_Kinoo_: Gyahahaha! Me and my fantasies! –strikes a pose-

_Ino_: LMFAO. I LOVE ME! If only I was a guy, I would ass rape him right then -sighs-

_Kinoo_: In the world of fan fiction, you can be anything… -smirks-

_Ino_: Ohmygossssssshhh! I CAN? –glomps happily-

_Kinoo_: Yup! If Sasuke keeps giving me the Uchiha glare and annoys me then I just might do it!

_Sasuke_: Wha- HEY! That's not fair! I haven't even done ANYTHING. Please let me have Naru-chan! -whines-

_Kinoo_: Hmmm... –thoughtful looks-

_Sasuke_: PRETTY PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEE! –pleads with puppy eyes-

_Kinoo_: Okay. Fine. –turns toward readers-

Stay tune and please, do review! It makes my heart all fluttery! Huge thank you for my precious reviewers, for giving me the strength to go on! I LOVE YOU!

-gives out cookies-

:D!


	3. この俺に任せろ！

**Konoha Gakuen: Baka Teme!**_ by Kinoo Kyuu_

Pairings: Sasuke x Naruto. One sided; Kiba/Gaara/Shino/Shikamaru/Neji/Hinata/Itachi x Naruto, and of course, one that will clash against our main, Sai x Naruto. Not to forget Kakashi x Iruka!

Warnings: R for future lemon. Sakura-bashing, yaoi goodness, and attempts for humour. Lots of swearing!

Disclaimer: Everybody is discouraging me. NO, I do not own Naruto! -sniff-

_Kinoo_: OMG! I can't believe people read my story –brimming tears of happiness-

_Ino_: Gyahahaha. Your attempt for humour works on some of them I guess.

_Kinoo_: I guess so! I'm not really that good of a writer but about 22 people is following this story! And OMGGG; 8 FAVS! THANKS! (I can't list the names 'cause they're too long… But you know you're awesome!) –2 thumbs up-

_Ino_: You have officially gone mad.

_Kinoo_: I have tests and diary election to work on but I will try to submit a chapter at least once every two or three days! Special thanks to _Em-chan 01_, _HatakeKakashiSensi_, _jamaicabobsled_, _Shae Lucas_, _berta-chan_, _snowyangel-13_, and _allsecrets2_ who reviewed! You guys are too awesome for your own good…!

_Ino_: Yeah, okay, she's going to continue to rant and it's getting quite boring. Here, I'll let you all have the story.

* * *

Chapter 3:「 この俺に任せろ！」- Leave it to me!

* * *

I. Am. Not. Happy.

My Naru-chan has been constantly hit on in Block A. **(1.) **Do you know how that freakin' feels?

No, I don't think so. GOD, I'm frustrated and I feel like shit.

Now, I'm starting to question why god dropped down this gorgeous angel with the cutest personality and intelligent mind, if not to be owned by me.

Apparently not. Yet. 'Cause you know what? I'm not going to give up.

I'll get him even if it's the last thing I'll do.

Okay so, the day still goes on even with my usual head-ranting.

After 15 minutes of blissful chat with Naru-chan, I manage to stay calm in Block B.

After they finished all the questions I've assigned, they have free time to do whatever they want for the remaining time in the class.

That Shikamaru kid, who usually snoozes in the class, shows off his over 200 IQ's and amazes Naruto, in which he gets a hug and a pat on the head in return.

What's more, he seems to know that about my unwillingness to admit that I hate having Naruto touched by another, and gives me a smug smile as a present.

I'll fry that ego of his soon enough.

The bug-lover Shino, who usually likes to show case his 'wonderful 'collection of bugs, starts talking and showing off his knowledge about nature.

I'm crossing my fingers quietly, hoping that Naruto won't come over and be interested.

Seems like my lady luck has got no interest in me anymore!

Naruto comes to Shino's desk and starts chatting about… Foxes?

It seems that our little cutie is a fox lover! Awwww…

Oh damn! Do not get distracted!

ANYWAYS, by the time I know it; his hands have crept down all the way to Naruto's thigh.

"Uhmm… Shino-kun what are you doing?" His lips which are naturally pouty become even poutier, and if that doesn't stir you up, then you're crazy.

"Oh, there was some dust on your pants," **NO, THERE WASN'T ANYTHING ON HIS PANTS, YOU STUPID PRICK! DO THAT AGAIN AND I SWEAR I'LL CALL YOUR MOMMY AND TELL HER THAT YOU AND YOUR BUGS ARE DEAD!**

And I glare at him, hoping that he'd notice if he's not so _busy_ with caressing Naruto's thigh!

GOD! One of these days I will really feed them Sakura's meat. Which is really gross, by the way.

"H-hello N-naru-t-to-S-san," Neji's cousin stutters. I think her name is… Hinata?

"Hello Hinata-san," he smiles brightly. I've given him the small sheet of paper listing the name of the people by their seating arrangement and he seems to be able to remember in a short amount of time.

"I-," she starts, but is cut off by the bell.

"RIIIIIIIINNNNGG!"

Thank god, the bell rings just in time before I do any of my violent deeds.

After waving to the students who waves back at him much to my dismay, Naruto run towards my way and smiles sweetly towards me.

I hope he can't see my blush because man, Uchiha's don't blush!

"You have the most interesting students don't you?" He sighs, after finally reaching my desk.

"… Hn," I reply.

"Why are you so unresponsive?" Naruto asks.

"I don't know. It comes with my personality package I guess," I say curtly.

"Hahah, you're kind of funny," he chuckles.

HE! IS! SO! CUTE!

"Whatever, dobe," Oh shittttt! Me and my stupid mouth!

"HEY! Just because I was late this morning doesn't mean I'm a dead last!" He pouts again. "Humph! It's a good thing I'm in a good mood today or else, I'll kill you!"

No, you can't do that my dear Naru-chan.

I have not yet done anything to that sexy, hot body you have and will not be satisfied until I claim it mine.

"Hn. Sure it does," I smirk.

"Teme! You don't have to be such a jerk!" He storms off.

Great, he's pissed off. Oh shit, he's walking away!

… Not to worry! I run after him, of course. "Wait up! I was just kidding!"

"Humph! You better!" He turns around, eyes still unwilling to look towards my direction.

"… Forgive me?" **ATTENTION, NARUTO'S THE ONLY ONE WHO I'LL EVER APOLOGIZE TOO. I REPEAT, ONLY NARUTO!**

I've never apologized to anyone before. And it feels sort of awkward yet right at the same time.

"… 'Mmkay then… Want to have lunch?" He finally asks.

"Yeah…"

And so we make our way to the cafeteria, trying to ignore the whistling, fan girls and fan boys taking pictures, never mind the occasional groping.

Nah- they could only wish to do so since I am there and Naruto walks closely beside me.

Naruto and I show the lunch lady our staff card and are put right on the first line.

Staffs get free lunch.

We both decide to settle on a small table for two. We put the trays down and eat, while chatting in between.

We start talking about work, social life, and you know; stuff that people usually talk about.

He's so damn adorable. If only I could have him for myself… I'd lock him up in my room and do him all day.

I don't think I'll get away with that so easily though. That's just really too bad.

It's the end of lunch and the bell rings loudly.

The next block I'm teaching is Gym and as Naruto is assigned to assist_ me_ for the year, he's going to be with me for today and so on! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA- I mean, _cool_.

Putting that aside I'll let you know that my gym class is **horrible**! I'm stuck with my perverted students from Block A and B!

I mean, seriously; Kiba, Shino, Neji, Gaara, Shikamaru, Hinata, and Ino are in my class!

Gosh, how sad can this be?

Oh, and yes, I call that Hinata girl a pervert. She's the worst kind, a closet pervert.

Anyways, let's just say that I am going to summarize what happens in there, because I'm pretty pissed off to go into detail.

When me and Naruto goes into the change room (yes, the teacher's and the students' change rooms are combined), we, well, Naruto to be precise, receive all the perverted stares from everybody in the room.

Fuck those horny students! Geez, can't they control their raging hormones at all!?

And YOU! You're just a yaoi-fan-fiction reader, so don't you dare stare at me like that!

_I_, **Uchiha Sasuke**, _am no pervert_!

Don't you _dare 'yeah right'_ me! Or I'll make Orochimaru rape you! **(2.)**

Whatever. Anyways our cute kitsune seems to be a little scared and he unconsciously snuggles closely on my back in attempt to hide himself from all of the ferocious semes in front of him.

Luckiest guy on earth, I am! Uchiha always get what they want, and I ain't leaving without Naru-chan's body and soul!

Anyways, he changes with me guarding him, and trying very, very hard not to peek in and have a little look because I want to appear like a gentleman in front of him. One he can put all his trust on!

And after I gain his trust, I'll slowly make a move on him and claim his vulnerable self to ME!

EPIC PLAN! Hell yes, I'm such an awesome mastermind.

So, uhhh, after a moment of self-snickering and drowning in perverted thoughts of the many possible outcomes, our blonde cutie is finally done changing. **(3.) **He is now wearing a grey baggy sweatpants, nike shirt, and white adidas shoes.

Awww. He's adorable.

And oh, in case you're wondering, my 'awww' moment is not like what girls do.

It's much more manly and sexy and it makes you drool out of your puny mouth.

I love me.

In my Block C, or Gym class, we're currently in the soccer unit. It is truly a fun block until Gaara comes close to my blonde, pulls Naruto to his embrace, and won't let go for 5 minutes of what seems to be forever.

Not to mention that he tries to kiss and grope Naruto. BIG NONO there, buddy.

Kiba, who seems to be on the top of my 'worry list' for he's got a head start in the game; hugs him from behind and starts kissing his neck.

Naruto shivers and struggles out but he won't budge and I just have to break them up.

No more Mr. Nice for you, brat. **(4.)**

Picking him up and carrying him in a bridal-style mode, I smirk, and flash my winning grin.

The class sighs in despair.

"Okay, time to wrap up and go get change," I say. And disappears into the change room with Naruto still in my arms.

"Thank you Sasu-teme, now will you please let me down," Naruto says, smiling. OHMYGAWWDDD. HE'S CALLING MY BY MY FIRST NAME!

Nevermind the 'teme' part. I guess he's still holding grudge from that 'dobe' comment...

"Hn…" I reply. God, I have to claim him!

"Well, you're free next block, right?" He asks, facing his back towards me while pulling his shirt upwards, revealing soft, tan skin on a small, lithe back. **(5.)**

"Y-yeah." NOT LOOKING. NOT LOOKING. NOT LOOKING. NOT LOOKING. NOT LOOKING. NOT LOOKING.

"Okay! Well then I'll see you tomorrow then! I have to leave early and visit Kono-chan today."

Damn, he's finished changing.

"… Okay," I reply quietly. He waves at me and smile his 'rape me' smile, or so I thought, and skips happily towards the door.

What was he saying again? I didn't quite catch that… W-wait the minute, who the heck is Kono-chan!? It better not be a pervert!

Time to get my 'spy mode' switch _on_!

* * *

1.) Remember the Block thing? The Day 1 and Day 2 stuff? If you don't the description is on chapter 1 have a look!

2.) Nahh, he won't! Sasuke's just exaggerating! –rolls eyes-

3.) And he said he's not a pervert -snickers-

4.) Since when is he EVER Mr. Nice. LMAO.

5.) 4 blocks per day! And Sasuke's teaching Math, P.E., and Science! Remember that!

* * *

_Kinoo_: THANK YOU AND I LOVE YOU REVIEWERS!

_Ino_: So have you thought of making me a guy yet?

_Kinoo_: … I'm sorry Ino, but Sasuke bribed me!

_Ino_: … -sobs- W-with what?!

_Kinoo_: -points at the stash- Chocolates and SasuNaru pictures!

_Ino_: … -sighs- Oh well, I guess it's my destiny to not have Naru-chan…

_Kinoo_: H-hey! Look at the bright side! At least you've had Naru on your laps!

_Ino_: GYAHAHAHA! OMG YES! I'M AWESOME! And thank you! I'm still not giving up on being a guy!

_Sasuke_: TT.TT" **WHY MUST YOU TORTURE ME LIKE THIS?**

_Kinoo_: LMFAO. Thank you so much for your patience and I apologize for the delay. Look out on October 30th, It's my BIRTHDAY! And possible **double-chapters** for you all! 'Till the next time! Oh, and your reviews are greatly appreciated!


	4. 誰？

**Konoha Gakuen: Baka Teme!**_ by Kinoo Kyuu_

Pairings: Sasuke x Naruto. One sided; Kiba/Gaara/Shino/Shikamaru/Neji/Hinata/Konohamaru/Itachi x Naruto, and of course, one that will clash against our main, Sai x Naruto. Some Akatsuki members and their poor flirtation skills to get to Naruto's heart. Not to forget Kakashi x Iruka!

Warnings: R for future lemon. Sakura-bashing, yaoi goodness, and attempts for humour. Lots of swearing!

Disclaimer: GODDAMNIT! If I had own Naruto, I wouldn't be writing a fan fiction!

_Kinoo_: I am currently the happiest person in the world :D over 1000 people stumbles upon this story and reads it!

_Ino_: Oi, aren't you going to tell them about the news?

_Kinoo_: What ne- oh yeah! I'm going to publish a new story after finishing this!

_Ino_: Ooh. What's the title!?

_Kinoo_: Hehe, I'm not giving it away! But one thing is for sure, it's SasuNaru! I'm really thinking of making it KibaNaru and all since it is my second favourite pairing along with SaiNaru, but I guess not!

_Ino_: Heh, you're just saying that because Sasuke threatened you to burn your collec- mmrph! –muffle voices out of covered mouth-

_Kinoo_: S-SHUT UP! –furiously trying to hide evidence-

_Sasuke_: Hehe. Payback's a BITCH! -chuckles-

* * *

Chapter 4: 「 誰？」- Who's that?

* * *

It's been a while since I'm left up here watching Naruto get cuddled by a 15-year-old kid known as 'Kono-chan'. Okay, more like crushed for the cause of their height difference.

Fuck, another love-candidate to watch out for. It sucks to fall in love with such a hottie.

Oh god. How I wish to feel that sexy ass of his clenching tightly on my pen- what the hell? I can't afford getting distracted in this situation! Back to your watch, Uchiha Sasuke!

"Naru-nii, you should visit more often," Kono-chan, the kid-idiot starts, "I will make you my bride one day!"

"Uhmm… Kono-chan, I'm a guy, remember?" Naruto sweatdrops. "Your parents are not going to be happy with that…"

"Well, after taking a look at you, they're actually fine with it." This world is sadly filled with different variety of perverts, if I say so…

"Well, anyway Kono-chan, actually, I may be ab-"

Okay, that's it. Time to show my awesome presence to our cutie.

"Hello, fancy meeting you Naruto," I say, knowing that I'm cutting off his sentence entirely, completely surprising the 'molestable' blond.

Who the fuck says 'fancy' nowadays! Why is the almighty me acting like a stupid moron today?! **(1.)**

"Sasu-teme? Uhmm… What are you doing here?" He says, completely startled by my super-duper-awesome-and-sexy entrance.

"I live right there," I say, pointing to the direction of a tall building far ahead in which I live in.

To my surprise, the blond utters a very important piece of information.

"Are you serious? I just moved yesterday evening. I'm living there too!" Naruto laughs his lovable voice. Slipping away from 'Kono-chan's' embrace he comes toward me and starts a conversation.

So that's the noise I was hearing yesterday. Damn, I should have been more interested and introduced myself.

"What floor do you live in?" He asks.

"14th floor."

"Awww, really? Mine is on the 15th," Naruto smiles. I'm so making a peephole. And remind me to install a camera in his bedroom. **(2.)**

Oh, I forgot to tell you this, and I intent to keep it a secret from our kitsune; that I **own** that place.

I'm stinking rich I know, and you're wondering why I'm working my ass in Konoha Gakuen instead of being lazy around the house doing what rich people do.

Well, I find that I have issues with not working and it is, actually, very_ entertaining_ to work there. Minus the ugly-head Sakura and that big-boobs Tsunade granny, of course.

The pay is high and I like that. It's good to stack more money. Y'know, just in case anything happens.

"Yeah… What number is your apartment room?"

"1503," he says. HECK YES, BABY. His bedroom is right above mine. Oh yeah.

"Nice. So… Want to come over?" Please. Please. Please. PLEASE say yes!

"Sure," he smiles brightly. "Well then Kono-chan, now that you know I live near you, I'll see you soon! Uhmm, okay,how about this; want me to come over tomorrow?"

"You're leaving? Already? Aggh, fine," he grumbles. He turns around, walks up to me and whisper so that Naruto couldn't hear. "You dare touch my Naru-nii in a wrong way, I'll make sure you won't be able to bring your arrogant head anywhere."

I smirk. Heh, let's show this prick who's the boss around here.

Waving to the brat, he walks toward me while smiling his sexy pink, plump lips, making a certain part of me show its '_dangerous_' side.

I anticipate by wrapping my left arm around his hip, and starts walking towards my car. **(3.)**

I turn around to face the thick-headed kid, and widens my smirk. How I love life at that moment.

Just to let you know, I am completely satisfied with the look that the stupid idiot expresses. He looks like he had just gotten his lolly taken by another.

To top it off, the oblivious blonde tilts his head in confusion; not wasting any chances, I swoop down and claim his lips as mine. **(4.)**

Oh-Em-Gee. His lips are so soft and cute and puffy. I'd love to do it more often now.

Let's just say the kid fainted and I am too caught up in the moment to make fun of him.

We break apart and stare at each other.

Naruto is absolutely startled with the display of affection. He makes a totally kissable pout on his lips and frowns.

Apparently, I unconsciously press too hard and his pink lips are now rosy red and puffier from _the act of kindness_ I gave to it.

"Why'd you do that, teme?"

"Dunno, your lips looked lonely so I gave it a treatment."

"Whatever," he says. Still pouting from the surprise attack I have just given to him.

"It's not like it's your first right?" Please say yes.

"No," he sighs. WHAT? WHO THE FUCK STOLE YOUR FIRST KISS? "I lost count after my… 58th. People seem to be _very_ fond of… Being affectionate towards me…"

Yeah, obviously. You're too sexy for your own good. And fuckable too.

Anyways, screw those people who kissed him before me! FUCK.

Whatever, he's mine now, so back off losers!

"You didn't have to surprise me like me that," he mumbles. His small fingers caress the now-swollen lips I havejust claimed as my property. "Now it's swollen…" **(5.)**

"Okay, want me to kiss it better?" I grin. Oh shit, my true side is appearing.

"Not a chance, teme," he says. We have finally arrived on the parking lot and are currently in front of my car.

I open the door of it, and close it gently. Walking over, I get in the car and start the engine.

Oh yeah. I'm so COOL.

"So Sasu-teme, how long have you been living here?"

"3 years," I reply shortly, eyes still on the road. "Where did you live before you came here?"

"Boston," he replies. "I used to go to Harvard, my dad works there as a professor."

"What did you think of it," I ask, getting interested in the topic.

"Well, you know, it wasn't a really fun experience knowing that you have an overprotective dad who constantly comes over and punches your friends…"

"Why would he do that?" Wow. Tough.

"Well, my friends and I are always caught in… _Strange_ situations," he explains.

I feel myself burning from anger and jealousy. Fuck. They are some lucky idiots.

"What kind of _strange_ situations?" I ask. A part of me wants to know and a part of me wants to go break some stuff and kill somebody. I choose option 1…

"Well, once, Tobi and I were playing basketball and he fell on top of me. At the time, my dad was there to pick me up and he was furious," he starts.

"My dad _thought_ that Tobi was going to rape then on, I have not really seen him around and I kept trying to brush off the feeling that I would never see Toby anymore," he sighs. His beautiful blue orbs wondering from left to right.

Man, I would've killed that Tobi person too.

"Wow…" Trying to sound as genuinely as possible I say softly, more to myself than to Naruto.

"And then there was also a time when I was walking with Lee; He's Gai-sensei's number one favourite student, by the way, and he was yelling about youthfulness or whatever and he hugged me so tightly, I thought I was going to have broken bones," he sighs once again.

His troubled expression is enough to show the pain he had to experience.

"He tripped himself from one of the benches and trapped me between himself and the locker. Again, my dad was there to check on me and all that… He thought that Lee was going to molest me," he says darkly.

"I met Lee in the hospital while my dad apologized to him nonstop. But it was too late, he was out cold."

"Harsh." I reply. That Gai-replica must be one heck of a scary thing. No, never mind, scratch that. **Naruto's dad** is the scariest one. Man, I better watch my back. I'm starting to feel like I'm being watched myself.

After a few minutes of driving and small chats in between, we've finally arrived in front of the apartment I own.

"We're here," I say shortly, parking the car in a specific resident lot. Getting out of the car, I open the door to let the angel out, also letting him take in the familiar view he's just seen yesterday.

Naruto smiles. The phrase 'OMG-he's-so-damn-cute!' keeps running through my mind as he walks in front of me. I better thank god for giving me a view to savour of **my** kitsune's perfectly rounded ass, liking the movement its owner makes.

Damn, it's sexy. Quite a turn-on. Actually, quite a BIG turn-on. **(6.)**

We arrive at the front door of my apartment, but I notice that something's not right. I hear voices from the inside…

I live alone. Okay, _no one_ is supposed to be inside my apartment while I'm gone.

What the hell is going on here?

Naruto, seeing a concern on my face, starts to worry himself. Not that I mind, I'm enjoying the look that is currently adorning his adorable face.

"You okay?" His face is only a couple centimetres from mine, and I keep having these urges to lean down and kiss him again. Maybe this time I'll put my tongue in.

Oh shizzle, that's hot.

"N- I mean yes, yes, I am perfectly fine," I reply. Well, a very specific part of me is trying _very_ hard to contain my passion I have for him.

But of course, being the super-awesome-Uchiha-Sasuke that I am, I would never admit it.

Not for now anyways.

I push my key into the hole, NO, stop being so perverted you stupid! The KEYHOLE, not Naru-…

I don't want to hear it. I wasn't thinking of it and you **really** should stop making assumptions…

God, stop being such a loser, geez.

So uhh, back to the situation, oh yes, we're currently opening the door of my apartment and **look who we have here**.

"Hello brother. Nice to see y- Oh my, who is this cutie?"

* * *

1.) He ALWAYS acts like a stupid moron… -sighs-

2.) Sasuke cannot face the horrible truth that he's a hardcore pervert…

3.) OHMYEFFINGGOD. LET'S HOPE THAT NAUGHTY HAND STAYS THERE AND NOT ANYWHERE NEAR THE LINE –wink wink-

4.) You love me right? Hehehe- OWW! That hurt! –massaging the punched cheek-

5.) Sasuke likes it _raw_ and **hard**… -sweatdrops-

6.) OHMYGAWD. Is he announcing his manhood's size? –sweatdrops even more-

_

* * *

_

_Kinoo:_ You guys are too awesome with your reviews, favourites, and alerts that I decided to post this chapter earlier than expected! My birthday is nearing and I'm looking forward to making a hot and sexy smut for upcoming chapters! Not on the next chapter though. Oh fine, maybe a little bit of groping and French-kiss…

_Ino_: Stop talking and start making a scenario where I'm turned into a guy… -uses demanding tone-

_Kinoo_: No can do sweetheart, promised Sasuke that he's sexing up Naruto for this fiction… Maybe some other time…

_Ino_: Damn it!

_Sasuke_: I declare my awesomeness to all my fans. I wanna thank my mom, for supporting me, my dad for mak- URMPH! –mouth covered by anonymous person and Ino's beating him up-

_Kinoo_: Till the next time! :) Oh, and don't forget the **sexy-double-chapters** coming up on October 30th, my birthday! Review please, and have a good day!


	5. 如何してここに!　

**Konoha Gakuen: Baka Teme!**_ by Kinoo Kyuu_

Pairings: Sasuke x Naruto. One sided; Kiba/Gaara/Shino/Shikamaru/Neji/Hinata/Itachi x Naruto, and of course, one that will clash against our main, Sai x Naruto. Some Akatsuki members and their poor flirtation skills to get to Naruto's heart. Not to forget Kakashi x Iruka!

Warnings: R for future lemon. Sakura-bashing, yaoi goodness, and attempts for humour. Lots of swearing!

Disclaimer: In my world, I own it! In reality, well, let's just say that I am not as lucky…

_Kinoo_: LMAO. I thought that people would be tired of my poor writing skills! But some actually reads it and are very kind to give me reviews! **Thank you very much reviewers**! You make me **very, very, very** **happy~**! Oh, and **today is my birthday**!

_Ino_: Oh my gosh, Happy birthday! –puts a wrapped present on the table- … Anyways, today is October 30th, aren't you gonna give them the whatever-double-chappy you promised to give?

_Kinoo_: Why yes I will, Ino! But first, I want to make a certain someone pissed off!

_Ino_: Huh? And who will that be?

_Kinoo_: -brings out a large bundle of something wrapped in garbage bag- Here, you can check yourself!

_Ino_: -takes a small peek- GYAA! What the heck is that?!?

_Sasuke_: -gagged and still tied in the bag- UURMPH! Hwep mm! (T: Help me!)

_Ino_: Whoaa! You're such a sadist!

_Kinoo_: I have no choice! He locked me out of my house today, yes, **on my freaking birthday** for 30 minutes! And that was until I threaten him that I was going to make Sai rape Naruto if he won't open the door…

_Naruto and Sai shows up right then…_

_Naruto_: Hey, Happy birthday Kinoo! –kisses Kinoo on her cheek, hugs her, and gives her a present- You guys are having those mini chats again? Why is it that I am never in this type of conversation!? -pouts- That is so mea- OMG, is that Sasuke?!?

_Ino_: Hey, give me a hug too! –gets hugged by Naruto-

_Sai_: Heh. –steals Naruto from Ino and hugs him from behind- Poor loser right there loses; finally!

_Sasuke_: Nafhudo! Geh hewhaay fhom em! (T: Naruto, Get away from him!)

_Kinoo_: Naruto, there's ramen on the kitchen counter! And because tomorrow is Halloween, I shopped for treats yesterday, and get you an extra bag full of chocolates and candies! ;) –smirks evilly and winks knowingly to Sai, who thanks her silently by pointing at a yaoi painting he made for her as a present –

_Sasuke_: HNNNNNNNNNNWW! (T: NOOOOOOOOOOO)

_Kinoo_: Heheh, all hail the sweet revenge!

_Ino_: Ohmygod. -sighs- The birthday girl is forgetting about the story so I shall, again, substitute her and present you with the _first part_ of **this**** delicious-and-super-special-double****-****chapters** for you all…

* * *

Chapter 5:「　如何してここに?!　」 - Why are you here?!　

* * *

What. The. Fuck?

When I open my apartment door, I see a figure about 6'2 tall who owns a long, black hair tied neatly on the back with bloody-red eyes on a porcelain skin staring back with surprise.

Even worst, he's eyeing my kitsune!

"Why hello there, dear brother." After getting his composure, Itachi smirk the all-known, copyrighted Uchiha smirk I know so well. "And hello to you too, beautiful. My name is Uchiha Itachi. May I have your name?"

Oh and yes, we have the 'Uchiha Glare' and the 'Uchiha Smirk'.

"Uzumaki Naruto," Naruto smiles, confused.

"What are you doing here, in my apartment? No, more importantly, how did you get in?" I hiss.

"I have my ways," he chuckles. He's still giving Naruto the 'I-love-you-so-I'm-gonna-rape-you' look and I am pissed to no end.

Stupid brother and his stupid connection. GAHH!

"So it's Naruto, is it? Pleasure to meet you. It's rare to see my brother have a visitor. He never gets any," Itachi says, smirking smugly towards me while he walks toward Naruto, taking his hand and kisses it.

"Get. Away. From. Him," I say to him sternly.

"Brother, I am very sad. I came here to deepen our brother's bond! And now that I met such a beauty, you refuse to let me be acquainted to him. Can't you see that I'm trying to be a gentleman to the person I'm in love with?" He faked a hurt look.

'Deepen our brother's bond?' Yeah right.

He's here 'cause he wants to boast about the Uchiha company. He is also here with a purpose to make fun of my career and the people in it, such as that ugly-forehead Haruno.

Well that part I don't mind.

"He's **MINE** and _I_ brought him here, not _you_," I grit my teeth.

FUCK OFF, BITCH!

"Now, now, dear brother. You should learn to keep your temper checked. Honestly, you really ought to lighten up a little. I just wanted to borrow Naruto for a moment… Or longer," he add the last part to, obviously, annoy me.

"NO. And I mean that as in NO _touching_ him, NO kissing _anything_ on him, and hear this, NOT EVEN _talking_ to him. Heck, you shouldn't even be _breathing_ the same air as him," I reply, growing even tense.

"Wow, chill Sasuke, it's not like he's gonna devour me or anything," Naruto giggles.

No, that's not what I'm worrying about. You're too beautiful to die! A stupid moron like Itachi would want you all to himself.

But that ain't happening as long as I'm still alive.

"Whatever, you're mine," I say, putting both my arms, circling them securely on his waist.

Hell yeah, baby. How is that, huh, stupid brother?

"Since when, teme? I don't remember you signing any contracts," he sneers jokingly.

"Since the moment I laid my eyes on you," I smirk.

"Hahaha, very corny, dear brother," Itachi cuts in dryly. He seems to refuse being ignored.

"Hn. You're just jealous that I have done more than kissing his hand," I reply boredly, but still enjoying the jealous look on Itachi's face.

"Is that so? What have you done exactly, dear brother; that you'd like to boast about?" He says challengingly.

Oh it's on!

"Sasuke? Oi, Sasuke? What's with you? Why are you spacin- HRMPH!"

I'm sorry Naru-chan, for cutting you off._ Again_. But I have to do it.

I press my lips to his plump ones long and hard, my arms encircled his waist tighter making it impossible to break apart. He has to stand on his tiptoes for the **huge** height difference while I have to lean down to capture his pink lips. A lot.

I shift a little and _accidentally_ lower my hand to his sexy butt. He 'eeps' cutely and gasps, giving me a chance to put my tongue in his.

Score! And _damn_, he's addicting. He tastes like strawberries and whip cream mixed together…

Now, who wouldn't want a piece of that?

We break apart, and Naruto pants out, trying to fill up his lungs that are currently lacking some oxygen. He glares at me, and pouts, trying to break away from my embrace, but can't due to my strong hold on him.

"Teme, LET GO!" Naruto screech.

"No," I reply, smirking happily. "I suggest you stop struggling. You're only wasting your energy."

"Stupid, possessive tall bastard," he mutters, but stops his movements of trying to break away from my arms.

Itachi, well, he seems to be burning in rage and jealousy as he watches the scene that has unfolded right before his eyes.

"That far, stupid brother," I say, smiling happily towards Itachi. Maybe a little bit too happy than my usual cool, broody self but screw that.

"Fuck you," he growls.

"Not a chance, brother," I grin evilly. I could see his jaw drop for a millisecond but he reverts back before anybody could comment on his un-Uchiha like behaviour.

"Okay, I don't get what's going on here, but I think you guys seems to be closer than you think," Naruto said, trying to hold in a giggle.

Wow. Guess he doesn't regret the mind-blowing kiss we just shared.

Either that or he's given up on protecting the safety of his lips.

Wait WHAT? Okay, he's not mad anymore, but I refuse to admit that Itachi and I are close. 'Cause we're not!

"WE ARE NOT!" Itachi and I yell in unison. Yeah right. We're NOT close. Maybe before, but now we're adults and now, we're fighting over Naruto.

"Sure," Naruto rolls his eyes. "Whatever. Anyways, are we here to argue or what?"

"Hn, let's just go to the living room," I say, realizing that we are still standing in front of my apartment door. We head to the said room and settles down, my arms never leaving MY Naru's waist. **(1.)**

We plop down on the black, elegant sofa and I pull Naru-chan on my lap. And OMGWTF- HOLY SHIBA! **(2.) **

His ass rocks my world. It took me my whole self-control to not get a hard-on. Come on, his cute little ass is placed perfectly on my groin area and damn it feels good, he smells very, very tempting too!

"What the heck is wrong with you people and me sitting on your laps," Naruto mutters out, sighing while he's at it.

We all want to feel your lovely butt, DUHH. But after today, your butt is MINE.

My brother just stares like an idiot. It looks like he's going to cry in any second.

Not that I care.

* * *

1.) PERVERT.

2.) Yes, Sasuke just swore in Korean…

_

* * *

_

Everybody has gathered around for Kinoo's party. They're having awesome moments and some are drunk off their... lemonade XD!

_Lee_: Gyahaha. What a youuuuuuthfullll partyyyyy –swings around like an idiot-

_Shikamaru_: -sighs- This party is going out of hand and is seriously troublesome. Well, at least Naru-chan is here…

_Ino_: … -sweatdrops-

_Sasuke_: -finally untied and out from the garbage bag- WHERE IS MY BOYFRIEND?

_Kiba_: Oh you mean MY future wife-y, Naruto.

_Sasuke_: Yeah right, last time I saw him he was with Sai. And FYI, I'm leading first on the scoreboard now. You've grinded and nuzzled his ass. I have grinded, kissed him, TWICE, and one of them involved tongues, brat. So shut it.

_Kiba_: Darn you little-

_Shino_: WHAT? BUT I TALK TO HIM ABOUT NATURE.

_Sasuke_: That doesn't have to do wi- HEY! SAI, FUCKING LET GO OF HIM.

_Naruto_: Sasuke, you're back! –smiles happily and runs toward Sasuke's direction-

_Sasuke_: Hehe. Take that bitches. –hugs Naruto tightly and kisses him-

_Kinoo_: Guys, no dry-humping. Keep it PG-13 (for now) –evil snicker-

_Ino_: I give up. See you on the next chapter. It's double so we'll see you in… About less than 5 seconds if your internet is working well… See you!


	6. Preview: 大きらい！

**Konoha Gakuen: Baka Teme!**_ by Kinoo Kyuu_

Pairings: Sasuke x Naruto. One sided; Kiba/Gaara/Shino/Shikamaru/Neji/Hinata/Itachi x Naruto, and of course, one that will clash against our main, Sai x Naruto. Some Akatsuki members and their poor flirtation skills to get to Naruto's heart. Not to forget Kakashi x Iruka!

Warnings: R for future lemon. Sakura-bashing, yaoi goodness, and attempts for humour. Lots of swearing!

Disclaimer: -sigh- I want it for my birthday –hopeful eyes-

_Kinoo_: Awesome party, we're having here, eh?

_Naruto_: Yup! I'm having lots of fun! –still hugged by Sasuke protectively-

_Sasuke_: Hn.

_Naruto_: Sasuke, how long are you gonna tail me? –pokes Sasuke's head-

_Sasuke_: As long as I can…

_Kiba_: Uchiha, he clearly wants to get out and have fun with me!

_Sai_: You bitches, I own Naru-chan! –tries to molest Naruto but gets tripped over Sasuke's foot-

_Shikamaru_: Correction, he wants to have intelligent conversation with my super smart brain.

_Shino_: Uhh… NO. Naruto-san would like to know more about nature.

_Tobi_: -appears out of nowhere- HELLO EVERYBODY! TOBI IS HERE AND TOBI LOVES NARU-CHAN!

_Naruto_: -out of Sasuke's embrace and hugs Tobi- Awww, TOBI! I thought I'd never see you again!

_Tobi_: Tobi was interrogated by Naru-chan's daddy for a long time and is finally out! It is because Tobi is a good boy.

_Naruto_: Awww –pets head-

_Sasuke/Kiba/Sai/Shikamaru/Shino_: -gets pissed- Great, another competitor?

_Ino_: HEY! DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME! Kinoo said that she might turn me into a guy!

_Everybody looks toward the birthday girl and Ino, except for Naruto and Tobi who are too into their current conversation, and stares strangely at them._

_Kinoo_: You give me that look again and I swear you won't see another day of seeing Naru-chan anymore. And I'm the birthday girl, so I can do more evil things than usual… -grins evilly-

_Everybody gasps._

_Kinoo: _Anyways, don't kill me people! I have not had the time to do a complete chapter and is therefore, leaving you with a preview! -has books thrown on the head- OWW!

_

* * *

__Preview of_ Chapter 6: 「 大きらい！」 – I hate you!

* * *

"Sasuke, would you please let me sit properly on the couch and not on your lap?" Naruto pleads.

"No," I reply sternly. "I like you better here."

"But it's embarrassing! And your students have done it to me all day," he pouts.

Yep, if you're wondering where we are, use your brain. We're in the living room with a pouting Naruto and a sulking Itachi. Oh, and a very happy Sasuke.

"I don't care. You're my boyfriend now," I say. Yep, the cool Sasuke is now gone and replaced with a sexier and hornier Sasuke, the one you all know and love. Don't you just love me, my awesome personalities, and my head rants?

You know you love it. And you know I'm awesome.

"Don't I get a say in this?" Naruto sighs. "Never in my life have I ever seen someone so…_ Bold_ before. Sensual maybe, but no one as unexpected as you."

"What? You should give me a try. I've got the looks, the money, and most importantly,** love**," I say, smirking.

He seems to be thinking hard for a moment then sighs loudly.

"Fine," he says after a long moment. "But if you molest me in public places I'm not tolerating it."

"Heh, can't promise you that," I say, but soon change after receiving a glare from Naruto. "Okay, okay. I won't…"

"Hey, I'm still here you know," Itachi says. "And I like Naru-chan too."

"Too bad. He's mine. He just said so."

"He was forced to! That's not fair!" Itachi yells, looking more annoyed than ever.

"All's fair in love and war."

"You're becoming cheesy again, brother."

"So? I clearly won and Naru-chan's MINE. So I suggest you leave me and MY BOYFRIEND alone, if you don't mind," I say clearly in a 'victory tone'.

"I DO MIND. Hn. You'll regret this," he says, getting up and walking towards the door. Before leaving, he pops his head in and smirks. "This ain't over yet, brother. So long Naru-chan, my love! I'll see you soon!"

"Uhh… Bye?" Naruto says awkwardly.

Fuck that bastard. I'll make sure that he'll never show his stupid face in front of me and Naru-chan anymore.

YAY. Me finally alone with Naru-chan.

Shut up about my grammar, they are perfectly fine and awesome.

"So what do you want to do now?" Ask Naruto.

"Hmmm… Spend the day snuggling with you?" I say. What? I like snuggling. Unless he wants to do something that involves in the bedroom…

"Gee, that's productive," he says. "Why don't I cook you something?"

OHMYEFFINGGOD! He can cook! That's it, I'm making him my wife!

"Okay," I reply. So so so so looking forward to this! Fuck yeah I'm hyper. But I'm awesome so I can do it.

"What do you want?"

"Anything, I guess," I again reply.

While Naru-chan is busy preparing food, I begin to search for an ultimate weapon.

That's right ladies and gentlemen; I am going to find myself some nice apron to put on the little cutie.

* * *

Preview TBC

* * *

The party has ended. Everybody's gone except Ino and Itachi.

_Ino_: You're really gonna be killed now. –stares sheepishly at Kinoo-

_Kinoo_: OMGOMGOMG. SORRY PEOPLE. DAMN HOMEWORK IS KILLING MEEEE. -wails hand-

_Itachi_: Why am I not the one to be with Naru-chan? -sobs-

_Kinoo_: -sighs- I am going to update this chapter soon and make this preview into a chapter soon. Look out for my new fiction called 'Kitsune Co.'! -sighs- Sorry to those who wanted two double chapters, but at least I'm giving you a preview, ne, NE? –gets whacked on the head-

_Itachi/Ino_: … Stupid authoress.


	7. Continuation of 大きらい！& つき青！

**Konoha Gakuen: Baka Teme!**_ by Kinoo Kyuu_

Pairings: Sasuke x Naruto. One sided; Kiba/Gaara/Shino/Shikamaru/Neji/Hinata/Itachi x Naruto, and of course, one that will clash against our main, Sai x Naruto. Some Akatsuki members and their poor flirtation skills to get to Naruto's heart. Not to forget Kakashi x Iruka!

Warnings: R for future lemon. Sakura-bashing, yaoi goodness, and attempts for humour. Lots of swearing!

Disclaimer: _THAT __**PERSON**__ LIED!_ –sniff- I haven't gotten the signed contract stating Naruto is owned by me! -gets smacked-

_Kinoo:_ I had the awesomest birthday party ever! I is loving it very very much!

_Ino:_ … Yeah. So much that you forgot your super-terribly-poor grammar!

_Kinoo:_ You know what, you know what?!? –raises fist-

_Ino:_ … WHAT? -eyes twitching-

_Kinoo:_ SHUT UP! –hurrily puts fake sharingan contacts on to make a dramatic effect-

_Ino:_ … What a piece of homo…

_Kinoo:_ … What a piece of gay ass slicked in used, molested, baby-powder…

_Ino:_ How can you molest a baby powder?!?

_The two rambles on. So therefore, this voice thingy or whatever you call it, will serve you the continuation of Chapter 6 + 7…_

* * *

_Continuation of Chapter 6: __「大きらい！」 – __I hate you!_

_& _

_Chapter 7: __「_つき青！_」__-__Let's go out__！_

_

* * *

"Oh, Naru-chan… " If you're wondering who I am well, then, __hi idiots_, this is Sasuke.

You might be wondering why I sound homo. But on the contrary, I _am_ falling in love with a guy… I shall; I however, only love Naruto! Therefore I am not gay, I am… umm… uhrgh..

NARUTO-SEXUAL!

Anyways, you should CHECK. THIS. OUT.

Currently, successfully holding a pink, lacy apron I walk towards the kitchen. It is then when my eyes met with Naruto's and he tilts his head to the side, not yet seeing the apron on my hand.

MUST. NOT. RAPE… YET!

"Huh? What is it Sas- **Mother…**" Naruto's eyes have grown sizely and the streaks of horror could be seen on his perfect face.

"Sa-sasuke, why are you holding that… _thing_?" his small finger points at me. He slowly backs away until he hit the wall where he is trapped and can no longer escape from the almighty me.

I love life.

Our little angel watches fearfully of the every little movement I create. In a smooth moment, again, my eyes bore into his and he cringes when I swoop down to kiss him after sliding the super sexy apron on. His mouth is opened slightly and I am not wasting the opportunity to put my wondering tongue in while tying a bow on his back.

He pushes me and tries to escape but couldn't due to him being trap between me and the wall, my new best friend. **(1.) **Naruto sighs and tries his other option: to untie the apron.

"Honey, that is NOT acceptable. Wear that or wear NOTHING at all," I smirk. Looking more horrified than ever, he sighs, and goes back to whatever he was doing.

And DAYUMMM, I'm LOVING that outfit. While trying to keep the x-rated thoughts out of my already contaminated mind, I sit down and watch the performance of our little kit.

"Here you go. If you want seconds, there are still more on that plate," Naruto puts down fried rice, deep-fried tempuras, and a tomato salad on the side. He also puts down a blended strawberry juice.

It looks de-lish-ious. **(2.)** I take a little bite, and…

WOOSH. The best meal ever had!

"Whoaa… where'd you learn to cook like that?"

"I was forced to cook for myself and a roommate of mine. I had the best roommate who teaches how to cook at the time… he's _SUPER AWESOME_!" He says while sipping on his own juice, eyes glimmering in happiness.

WHAT ROOMMATES?!? IMMA KILL THAT DUDE!

"Ho… What's his name?" Hiding my jealousy as I swallow, getting up for my second.

"'s Chouji! My sister's boyfriend!" Oh, okay… we'll let that go then…

"You have a sister?"

"Yeah, she's 2 years older than me. Hopeless at cooking and eats like a **beast**!" Naruto says, emphasizing the last word strongly.

"What's 'er name?" I say, munching the last bite and is getting up for my third. **(3.)**

"Her name is Ino. I call her Ino-neechan!"

"Hmm… interesting. You should tell them that we're dating now," I grin, gulping down on my juice and looking slightly disappointed realizing that there's nothing left on the plate. I put away the plates to the sink and run the water. My eyes never left his terrified expression.

"NO. FREAKING. WAY," he yells.

"Why Naru-chan, you hurt my feelings…" I fake a hurt-sobbing look.

"Do you _want _to lose your life? If my dad is scary, then my sister is _monster-ly _scary. She'll cut off your fingers like cutting off a piece of paper. If you think your stoic expression is cold, hers can freeze off the Amazon," he says gloomily.

"Hn. Whatever," Deep inside, I feel scared. To death. Like, ACTUALLY.

But I'm planning to keep that to myself.

* * *

It's been a truly fun day having Naruto come over and wearing that cutesy stuff. Uhmm… Next time, I should buy him some panties…

"Sasuke!" A sexy voice snaps me from my naughty thoughts, and I start focusing on the owner of which I'm currently gahgah-ing over.

"W-whaa?" I stare at the godly figure in front of me.

"I said I'm gonna leave now, it's almost 10," he huffs.

"Why don't you just sleep over?" Yeah, _and have some fun with daddy_…

"No, thank you, I rather not," he pouts while putting on his shoes. Damn, I don't want to rape but that pout is just plain torture…

"Awwe, why not?"

"Because it involves you, me, a room, and a bed."

"Isn't that the purpose of sleeping over?" I ask rather innocently. **(4.)**

"No, especially when there's action involved," he replies while deepening his frown.

"You're no fun." I reply back. Maybe he wouldn't be such a 'tighty' when we're in bed… Oh wait, maybe he still will after all… **(5.)**

"Well… you're a sick man with twisted, super perverted mind."

"Hn… well, you're a godly, super sexy, and totally beautiful angel."

"Shut it, _Uchiha-sensei. _Behave," Naruto puffs his cheek and begin walking towards the door.

"I don't feel like it, sexy. Feel free to change my mind," I smirk, finally reaching the doorway and leans to the side of it, trapping him inside.

"Move," he demands, tucking his arms in front of his chest. Awww, what a cutie.

"Sorry, you need a ticket in order to pass," I widen my smirk. "And that ticket is; a _kiss_."

"I dun wanna," he pouts under his breath.

"Well too bad, then you're staying here," I sing-song my winning speech.

"Uugh, fine," he says and leans up to kiss my cheek. "There. Can I go now?"

And _hot damn_, the feel of his lips on my skin is incomparable. However I manage to reply towards our little angel.

"No."

"WHAT? WHY?" He yelps, looking devastated.

"I never said that the ticket is cheap," I raise an eyebrow, and puts up a finger pointing to my lips. "It has to be paid _right here_."

He grumbles, and mutters, "I hate you stupid octopus."

"That pains me Naru-chan, being compared to a sea-animal… But I'll make you love me tonight since you're staying here." I grin.

Poor baby, but it's for your own sexy good.

Before I realize it he stands on his tip-toe to bring my head down for a quick peck. My lips met to his pouty pink ones. I instinctively put my arms around his waist to deepen the kiss. **(6.)**

Don't bug me, I'm in heaven.

I force my way in to, again, make a journey to the wet cavern and hungrily devours it. After a few minutes, I discover that the lack of air seems to be my biggest rival…

We pull apart from each other and he struggles to get out of my arms.

"Okay, payment done, now will you _please_ let me leave," Naruto says, looking up at me pleadingly.

"… Fine," I say, he lets out a sigh of relieve. "But I'm picking you up tomorrow morning."

He stops and then quietly says, "Okay."

"Good, and tomorrow we'll announce to everybody that we're officially dating."

"…"

"_Honey_, it means we're going out."

…

..

.

"**WHAT?!?"**

* * *

1.) Sasuke's friends with a wall, how lovely.

2.) Yeah, don't ask. He has a habit of being stupid… at all times…

3.) What a fatty! LOLLLL.

4.) I would love to see Sasuke innocent. But that's clearly impossible since I suspect that he's born perverted… =w="

5.) Yep, definitely a sick man.

6.) How many times has he kissed Naruto?! What a snobby person!

* * *

Kinoo: I know, I know, I'm a horrible person… The chapter is to short blah blah blah... having not updated this fiction for a long time, etc. But school is being a BITCH with a capital BITCH!

Ino: … *sweatdrops*

Kinoo: Yeah, and my earphone broke and I can't concentrate! *pulls hair*

Ino: … *sweatdrops even more*

Kinoo: And I have lots of people wanting me to match them!

Ino: … Why? *still sweatdropping*

Kinoo: … I'm a matchmaker! (I seriously am ;D! I've matched 18 people now… Very proud!)

Ino: … *drench in sweat*

Kinoo: *turns toward readers* Well, next chapter is about Minato and Kushina's appearance! And of course, our beloved Kakashi and Iruka as… you'll soon find out! Thank you for the reviews! Keep it up people!


End file.
